My Days. My Life.

I believe I am what I am for a reason. I am who I am for a reason. I believe we all are, for a reason.

I believe in fate. I believe we were meant to be. I believe we had the free will to make a decision, that in return was meant to be taken, by us – and only us. I believe things couldn’t have happened in any other way than the way they happened. I believe we were meant to meet all those people we met. I believe we were meant to go through the difficulties we went through. I believe we were meant to be who we were, in where we were, at when we were – at a given position, in a given place, at a given time. I believe that there is no such thing as “things would have been different if we…”, thus there is only one lifetime, for each one of us – one galaxy, universe, one choice. Right or left. Yes or no.

I don’t believe in changing your destiny, for that change in destiny is our destiny – and our “changed destiny” was not a choice, not a valid possibility. I don’t believe we could be somewhere else, or done things in a different way, for that what we choose to do finally is what was meant to happen, and nothing else. I don’t believe in luck, and I don’t believe in failing, for that failing at something is succeeding at something else – however useless or pathetic it might seem to our bare eyes.

I believe we only exist to justify our mistakes, for if we have not lived the life we were meant to live, we would have argued “we were not going to do this and that”.

Psycho gave me the original Real Love song (by Massari) awhile back, so when I was given this “bonus track” again, I thought it was just the same track. However, I was messing around as usual, and I gave it a go whilst I was in the folder, apparently it’s a remix of the original. I love the tune, the clapping hits a nerve of mine. – here you go, after all, sharing is caring! (Trust me, it’s worth the click! Plus, I wasted 5.5Mb of my bandwidth on uploading this, so you better listen to it – lol.)

Unbelievable! Amazing! Extra-Ordinary! Spectacular! Awesome! Breath-Taking!

It’s been awhile since I’ve had direct contact with Linux, SuSE in precise. 1 month or so back, I installed Fedora6 on my box and had it removed awhile later, I wasn’t comfortable – seems it was all about whether or not I wanted to be convinced. After downloading openSUSE, all 5 cds last night, I had to install it today by the most, because I knew if I waited just a little longer I’ll never install it.

I recall Fedora6 didn’t see my Windows partitions back then, strangely SuSE sees them nicely, and has a /windows/ folder that is very convenient – my wildest guess is that the system is mounting those partition and creating an alias on startup – because media:/sda5/ is the exact same as /windows/. So that is a problem out of the way. I had a list of problems I wanted to resolve before starting to seek personal help from any of the experts. Like my screen resolution, and why it said 1280×1024 for my screen resolution, how to install some fonts, a few things here and there, I couldn’t find the KDE control center, getting my localhost to work, and how to play an *.mp3 file! (The *mp3 problem turned out quite nicely actually.)

Strangely I managed to install a couple of rpm’s without problem, probably because I’ve seen them being installed too many times in preparation for some sessions in the scope(s). I couldn’t get around fixing my screen resolution, though in /etc/X11/xorg.conf it seemed fine xorg.txt (I had to rename it to xorg.txt, WordPress policy). I managed to find the KDE control center (which was called Personal Settings – lol – and I didn’t think that had anything to do with a control center). So that too was off my chest.

I wanted WinKey+D to show me my desktop, and I wanted WinKey to show me the KDE Menu! I did manage to get the WinKey+D to show me the desktop, though not the other neat feature. Now the mp3 problem. I searched around and found that there’s a program called mplayer that plays audio/video files, and has codecs and the ability to add other codecs to it. So I downloaded it, not knowing where to start – except for the readme file they had. I followed the steps, and couldn’t believe it worked! When I first listened to the drums of the mp3 file I could swear I felt my heart miss a beat! It was spectacular, the feeling! I normally am good at following instructions, but most the time with computers, everything screws up!

I even managed to play a video, that was something! and even later, I managed to play it fullscreen with -fs. Too much for one day, ey?

I still have many things I need to figure out, because service and yum are not recognized commands on SuSE, apparently they’re fedora’s property.

Here we are again, with the conclusion of a new scope, scope six.

This scope was different, I admit. Not necessarily in a good way, nor a bad way – it was just different. It might be because Eng. Mahy wasn’t there to close the final session, it might be because the last session was full of “us”, only, it might be because it felt like a bunch of friends having a pleasant time with a microphone and an audience – it might be a lot of things, which don’t quite concern me.

Today, April 26th 2007, I declare I’ve learnt something new, for a change. I know I’m a rude criticizer, I know I sometimes cross my boundries, but I never changed. I never changed because I never felt anybody was good enough to stand up and answer me back, and convince me. Ahmed Soliman said “kamasheto 3omro mahay2ol en 7aga 7elwa” jokingly in response to my statement “l fekra 7elwa bas l implementation needed a tweak” – he probably has no idea how that statement in specific hit a nerve.

I believe, on the short run, Ahmed Soliman is my role model. Sometimes I do get caught up in the moment and criticize him as well, but that’s just me being me, I do have plenty of respect to him anyway. The majority of the time when we are kidding or enjoying a good laugh, I listen to him and want to learn something new from him – I do know he’s an unlimited resource of resources! However, when both of us are “tense” or even one of us, I tend to lean towards my hostile behaviour. When he said that, I felt my criticizing is most the time of a destructive nature. I don’t know if it was fate or he meant sending me the message, when he said “ana ba2ol lel nas what they have in case they don’t know they do”, because actually I am the exact same, I do see things in people as well that they don’t know about, however I criticize them using that – and with that I know I hurt their feelings most.

Now looking back, on how I could have used my methods in making sure those specific people know of their secret talents, I could have been motivating them all that time – and making sure they use those secret powers of theirs in a good way, rather than never ever listening to me, not now, and not even ever. That fit perfectly with the fact that I need to learn how to be a successful team leader, soon, now that CAT needs that position seriously with all those legends leaving college soon, and now that I seriously feel like I have a goal to establish, to get my head down to!

Linux, that’s a totally different story. I guess Open Source content is coming back, after long absence. He does have his way, ey?